Why'd you have to go?
by if dreams could come alive
Summary: For the BTS exchange; this is for Maggie! One second, one moment, can change everything in a whirlwind. Someone can be taken away from you so abruptly you barely have time to catch your breath. No one gets it anymore, no one gets him anymore. Derrick feels so empty inside and she's the only one who can make it go away. But she's nowhere to be found and he just can't seem to let go.


**A/N:** This is for Maggie (GLITTERXGURL)! I usually do fluffs but I thought I'd try something different. It's mainly Massington but for you I tried to put some Clarington in there as well. I don't think I did too good lol. I have a hard time writing about anyone other than Massie but this is mainly from Derrick, who I know you absolutely love. Anyway it's kind of short but I hope you still like it.

**Prompts: **'don't grow up, it's a trap', Stanford, m&m cookies, and wii tennis

Why'd you have to go?

The first time he saw her was at the Daily Grind New Year Eve's party in 4th grade. She was looking for something and hadn't even seen him. But all Derrick could think was that she was the prettiest girl he's ever seen.

Dear Massie,

It's been 11 days, 7 hours, and 34 minutes since you've left me. Tomorrow's the first day of senior year and I can't even bring myself to be excited. It was going to be our year. But what's the point if we're not going together? It hurts so much to think about you, but you're the only thing on my mind. I bet you already knew that, you've always have been.

Love,

Derrick

;;;

The first time he actually talked to her was in the 7th grade for the OCD auction in her backyard. They danced together that night and her hair smelled like the ocean. The beach became his favorite place ever since.

Dear Massie,

Sometimes I call your voicemail just so I can hear your voice again. It makes it easier to pretend you're not gone. No you just went out to get some milk. Ha! More likely to get your nails done and in a few hours you'll come back to me. But you never do, but I'll still keep waiting for you.

Love,

Derrick

;;;

They officially became friends freshman year when they all went to Westchester Academy together. It was even harder than he thought it'd be. He had to work for even a glance from her direction. But when she did smile at him it made it all worth it and he didn't mind putting in all that effort before.

Dear Massie,

I quit soccer today I was supposed to be varsity soccer captain. But how am I supposed to tell my team what to do when I don't even know what to do with myself? Everyone keeps saying I have to let you go, but how do you let a part of yourself go? They just don't get it. Alicia does though and it hurts me to see how much pain she's in. Then I wonder if that's how my parents feel when they look at me. And I don't want them to hurt, but if I let myself move on you really will be gone and I'm not ready to be alone.

Love,

Derrick

;;;

By the time sophomore year started they were best friends. She was so different from how everyone else saw her and he felt so privileged that he knew the real Massie. He knew that despite how everyone thought Kristen was the only smart one in the PC, Massie was a straight A student and wanted to go to **Stanford**. Also even though she was very conscious of what she ate, **m&m cookies** were always her Achilles heel. And she was the only person who could beat him at **wii tennis**. He was good, but she was a boss.

Dear Massie,

In English we had a new girl come into our class. She had to share what advice she wished she got as a kid that would help her in life now. You know what she said?

"I wish when I was younger and couldn't wait to be an adult someone had smacked me upside the head. And told me '**don't grow up, it's a trap**'. Cause then I would've known how much everything sucks."

I think it was the first time I laughed in a long time. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one who thought this was all stupid. I thought this would make you laugh since you never really appreciated the hilarity that were my knock knock jokes.

Love,

Derrick

;;;

The first time they kissed was during winter break of sophomore year. The Fishers were having the Christmas party that year. They had accidently met under the mistletoe (even though Cam thought Derrick had planned it). She tasted like Cinnabon and this was the first time he felt fireworks with a girl. And from the smile on her lips and how _she_ was the one who kissed him the second time, let him know she felt it too.

Dear Massie,

The biggest reason I quit soccer was knowing when I blocked the perfect goal I couldn't look for you in the crowd and share it with you. When I found out Alicia quit dancing I was so shocked, that's what made her so happy. Then she told me she quit because she shared dancing with you and now it's not the same. I told her that you wouldn't want to stop her from doing what she loves to do. And I realized I was doing the same exact thing as her. So as of today I rejoined the soccer team as goalie and Alicia is back on the drill team. We made a pact to go to each other's games and shows. But you still better come too.

Love,

Derrick

;;;

On August 23, 2013 Massie Jillian Block died in a car crash. That was the day Derrick James Harrington felt his world fall apart. But day by day he's been picking up the pieces and with the help of Claire Stacey Lyons he's been able to start to put it together again.

Dear Massie,

I've been talking to Claire, she understands. She lost her brother last year. Everyone treats me like I'm broken, but she doesn't. And those little things are starting to make me feel whole again. She's finally made me realize no matter how hard I cling to you, you won't come back to me. I've only been hurting myself thinking otherwise. That doesn't mean you'll disappear though. No you'll always be here, with me, in my heart. So this is my last letter to you, this is my way of letting you go. Staying in the past isn't going to change anything. I need to live my life now. But I still love you and I think I always will.

Love Always,

Derrick

P.S. When I get to heaven you better not be with anyone else.

;;;

Hope you guys liked it! Please leave a review!

xoxo

Mo


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